How to manage children swearing

February 3, 2019 Karen 25 comments

In my experience as both a parent and a registered child minder from time to time children  will swear, cuss and use unpleasant language.

 

The best way to manage this is to ignore it. if children don’t get a response the chances are they won’t repeat this behaviour.

I recall my youngest coming in from helping his dad put the bins out on a winters day. He sat down at the breakfast table  and said, “It’s f*** freezing out there!” he was only about 3 years old, so his brothers looked at me in horror, I mouthed don’t say anything at them. It must of been the right thing to do as I never heard him swear again  until he started school.

Picking him up from school on his first day as we prepared to drive home he told me “Mummy, I heard a naughty word today at play time”

” I don’t want to hear it” I replied

” Can I just whisper it to you?”

” Dick,” he whispered into my ear.

” Dick can be a persons name” I told him feeling relieved.

” Not when you put head after it”  he beamed

My response was to tell him that I didn’t want him to ever say that again and suggested that he didn’t let his dad hear him say it.

Again he never repeated the words ( or not for another 20 years or so)

A child that I was child minding told me one day as we were walking ” My mum says that is a crap school,”

I calmly told her that crap wasn’t a nice word to use so she should say rubbish or not very good instead, she seemed quite happy about this.

Children pick up words that are undesirable from school, but often they hear adults using them  so be aware of what you say when children are within ear shot

A friend’s child loves using ‘toilet talk’such as” phooey bum” and” fart,pants” she then laughs out loud. I advised  my friend to take no notice and just ignore this phase her daughter was going through.

Hearing children swear can be quite funny , try to resist laughing at it, as this will only encourage the unwanted language.

I have written more on behaviour management in an earlier post, my ideas there can be adapted to manage children swearing.

As always questions/comments are welcome.

Until next time.

Karen

x

25 Comments on “How to manage children swearing

  1. Children naturally learn by example, if it’s normal to hear swearing at home they will obviously copy and then pass the swear words onto others as part of thier everyday vocabulary. I am pleased and proud to say that swearing has never come naturally from our family so we never found it a problem. As for the “toilet talk” ,to me this isn’t really an issue ,it’s just funny to children.

  2. Kids do copy what they hear, and I agree that if we make a big deal about it, we reinforce the behavior. Having said that, it’s important for parents to steward our children’s contacts so they will be hearing things we WANT them to repeat.

  3. I have always been strict on what words my children can repeat. I don’t let them say fart, or even bum, they sometimes say that their friends use those words even at home and I say that’s their families choices, not ours. They seem ok with it. Thank you for sharing with #ABloggingGoodTime

  4. I think it does depend on the age. I would sit them down and have age-appropriate conversations with them about how they are adult words and not for kids.Neither of them ever spoke those words (around me anyway) again. I did recently have a conversation with my youngest and he admitted to using the language at school from time to time with his friends. The school, surprisingly, is actually working with the kids to curb their language but it gets to a point where you can’t control what they say when you’re not with them. I had a long conversation with him about that and I have to trust that he will make the right decisions for himself while he is with his friends. #ABloggingGoodTime

  5. I’m quite a sweary person but I never ever swear in front of my children – two of them can’t even talk yet but my three year old repeats a lot of what we say, so I’m really careful. I’m not worried about a bit of toilet talk though. I’d think it was weird if a three year old boy DIDN’T think talking about poos and bums was funny.

  6. I agree – you have to ignore it until they get a bit older and keep saying it. Then you have to sit them down and tell them it’s not nice to use those words x #DreamTeam

  7. The worst was not so much swear words but my then 3 year old singing along loudly to Flo Rida’s Whistle. So NASTY!! It’s not so much the words but what you are saying…yikes! #KCACOLS

  8. I find it so hard not to laugh, I’ve had to leave the room before when my niece or nephew says anything like that. My nephew bless him has a speech problem so most of the time its accidental. xxx #KCACOLS

  9. Honestly, I am terrible at swearing but my daughter has only ever swore once and it was totally in context. I couldn’t even tell her off as I absolutely knew where she was coming from but she is 13 now and still doesn’t swear (in front of me anyway) #kcacols

  10. It is so hard not to laugh when they get it all in context… I remember there were some birds squawking in our garden when my son was about 3 and it was quite noisy. All of a sudden he just said ‘those fucking birds’ I was like did you say clucking birds and he looked right at me and said ‘ no they are fucking birds’ I had to leave the room. He has never said it since! Thanks for being on the #DreamTeam

  11. My older 2 are aware of swear words but know not to use them. We don’t swear at home but they have heard them on Youtube videos and didn’t understand them so we explained. Thanks for linking up with #globalblogging

  12. Oh swearing is always a big deal in our house. I’m really not keen and dont swear in front of my kids. However, my teenager has let the odd one slip when he has been angry and it always sets me off, it’s just one of my ‘things’. Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next time.
    Mainy

  13. My children haven’t actually sworn themselves yet, although my son has a little giggle when we are reading Harry Potter at bedtime and a character (usually Ron!) says “Bloody” or “Ruddy”! It’s quite sweet! I wouldn’t find it so sweet if it was coming out of his mouth though!! #KCACOLS

  14. I’m so bad about laughing when they swear. It’s my fault for using that language. I have to walk away usually and gather my composure before returning to tell them it is not appropriate. Great advice!

  15. Our house is divided on swearing with one half definitely loving the use of the odd expletive and the other half not. Despite your best intentions when they are younger that soon all changes as they grow up. Some valuable tips here for those that need them. #TweensTeensBeyond

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