A book has recently been published in which it states that a baby should be left to cry and that there is no evidence that this will harm a child.
This got me thinking:-
I believe that a baby cries for a reason and therefore should not be left to ‘cry it out’. I also believe that it is not possible to spoil a tiny baby by picking him up when he cries.
It is important to have a bedtime routine for older children, I have written about this here
I always picked my three children up when they cried as babies and would sing to them as I rocked them in my arms hoping to settle them.
I am not saying that this is the correct way to parent; just as every baby is different – every parent is also different and must do what they think is best for them and their baby.
Babies sometimes cry because they are hungry,, have a wet or soiled nappy, or are too hot ,or too cold. As long as all of these things have been checked, I guess that leaving a baby to cry for a short time ( no more than 15 minutes) wouldn’t do too much harm, it’s just something I never felt comfortable with.
When I was working as a registered child minder and looked after babies, I wouldn’t leave them to cry, I put them upstairs in a travel cot for naps and plugged in a baby monitor so I could hear when they woke, as soon as I heard a sound I would bring them back downstairs; a friend once asked why I attended to a baby so quickly and my answer was that I never left my own children to cry, so I treated other people’s children the same. That’s why I think the children in my care felt safe and at home while in my home.
So is it wrong to leave a baby to cry? I would be interested to hear what others think.
As always questions and comments are welcome.
Until next time.
Karen
x
I don’t think it’s wrong to leave them to cry – sometimes you can try everything and they’ll still be crying! But as with all parenting styles, it’s up to you how to parent 🙂 #KCACOLS
My initial reaction is I wouldn’t leave my baby to cry but it definitely depends on what kind of cry. I’d never leave my boys to really cry but my youngest used to sort of moany cry before drifting off to sleep. It was almost like his way of winding down. As you say, every child is different and needs to be parented in a different way. #GlobalBlogging & #KCACOLS
I think that sometimes there really is nothing you can do, but I for sure would exhaust about every avenue I could think of before just walking away #twinklytuesday
Like others have indicated it kind iof depends on the kind of cry, but generally I would have to react #BloggerClubUK
The Mrs. and I had a continuous cause of debate over this one. Our Big, NEVER slept unless we were holding her and rocking her. Motion mattered. The second we stopped, she wailed — you may have heard her! By 6 months, we hired a sleep doulah to help, and she said Big was her toughest case. She couldn’t get her to sleep either. The cry itself usually indicates some kind of cause — but when all has satisfied, and she was fed, clean and dry, the crying continued. Now, 11 years later, she still needs to snuggle us to fall asleep (I hope that lasts forever), but we didn’t let her just cry it out. xoxo #abitofeverything xoxo
Popping back again via #abitofeverything
http://www.mummykind.com
This is a tough one. I never let my kids cry. It just killed me to hear them distressed. I wound up taking them into bed with me which is not the best idea either. Now, we have a grandson and my son and his wife left him to cry it out at nap and bedtimes. Besides for having to make the room completely dark, having the sound machine on and everyone being completely quiet in the other room, he goes to sleep all by himself! I wish I would have let my kids cry it out at least for a few minutes!
I totally agree with you Karen, it feels instinctively wrong to leave a baby crying, and I would act on my instinct and not leave it. My mum would say it’s okay to leave a baby crying. Perhaps that’s part of the reason why I’ve never felt very close to her..?
There are many studies on premature babies which show that skin-to-skin contact is extremely helpful for their health and development, and I think it’s likely that being held (thoug not necessarily skin-to-skin) is still important for many young babies, whether premies or not.
I’m actually quite saddened to hear that a new book is sugggesting that parents should leave their baby to cry it out. I thought that idea was a thing of the past…
Thank you so much for linking up with #KCCACOLS, hope you come back again next time! x
Leaving a child to cry it out wasn’t my preferred choice but I wouldn’t judge anyone that did it. Sometimes you can try everything and they’re still crying. Thanks for linking up #twinklytuesday
I think the thing is most parents understand their babies cries. You know the hungry/wet cry and the irritable cry. Sometimes for your own sanity it is necessary to walk away for a while if you have done everything else to settle a baby.
#abitofeverything
I think it depends on the kind of cry. My 14 month old often has a bit of a grizzly cry before he goes to sleep at night. There’s nothing wrong with him, it’s just what he does when he’s trying to get himself to sleep. I don’t think I could leave him crying for more than a couple of minutes if he was distressed though, but I can understand why people might, if they’ve tried everything else. #kcacols
Crying is a baby’s only way of communicating so it doesn’t always mean they are upset, meaning it can be ok to let them cry on occasion. Thanks for linking up with #stayclassymama
I must admit, I hate leaving E to cry. But sometimes we do everything and she still cries. #KCACOLS
Personally I don’t have a problem leaving a baby to cry, however it wouldn’t be for a long period of time. When we were sleep training our girl we used this method and it worked really well for us. Thank you so much for joining us for #KCACOLS and we hope see you next time!