The smacking debate

October 13, 2018 Karen 25 comments

As many people seem to be in favour of smacking children as those who are against it.

I would be lying if I said that I had never given my children a smack when they were growing up and I was smacked as a child by my parents. It most likely didn’t do me any lasting harm but I also think that it didn’t do me much good.

With maturity and after spending many years of working with children when I was a registered child minder I now believe that smacking children is wrong and ineffective.

My greatest argument against giving a child a smack is; what do you do if after smacking a child, he continues to display naughty behaviour, do you smack harder and harder until he conforms?

I now know that ignoring unwanted behaviour, whenever possible and rewarding the good is far more effective than giving a child a smack.

Smacking is known to affect a child’s mental health, plus it can also promote violence.

You shouldn’t be surprised if a child who is smacked by her parents is then seen hitting other children, she is copying a learned behaviour!

When I was registered as a child minder , I wrote to my local M.P. about this topic, child minders are not (quite rightly) allowed to smack the children in their care. Many years ago this law was being challenged and as I felt strongly about it, I wrote him a letter voicing my opinions- that nobody should legally be able to hit anyone else particularly a child, I got a reply saying that he agreed with me and that as a parent himself he wouldn’t be happy about a child minder being permitted to smack his child. Thankfully the law was never amended so child minders or other early years practitioners are not allowed to smack children.

 

I have written an earlier post on behaviour management that anyone having issues with discipline may find helpful.

I would be interested to hear what others think about this subject.

As always questions, comments and topic requests are welcome and please share on social media if you think others would benefit from reading this post.

Until next time.

Karen

x

 

25 Comments on “The smacking debate

  1. I have worked as a childminder, in a pre-school, in social services family centres and in residential care, I have two children of my own, now both adults.

    I firmly believe that smacking a child is wrong, it not only sends out the wrong message but it actually shows that the adult has lost control of their own emotions and is ‘hitting out’ to try and retain control, talking to a child, explaining and using examples is much better way of dealing with any inappropriate behaviours

  2. I remember being part of an online community of Mums about 15 years ago and the subject of smacking came up. It resulted in a huge argument with so many different opinions. I am hoping that attitudes have changed a lot now because I hate any sort of physical abuse to children, including smacking and dragging, and I’ve never done it to my children. When I was a child I was never smacked and I grew up a good girl!

  3. Huge debate with this. It is one of those topics that I try to avoid with some people because they aren’t able to have a courteous discussion. I think that there are so many other ways to discipline a child. We don’t smack adults when they need discipline. That would be considered assault. #KCACOLS

  4. I don’t smack, although sometimes it is hard and I have to take a deep breath. Ignoring Cygnet’s bad behaviour worked for a bit, but then I found he starts whinging and tantrumming. Counting to three worked for a bit, but now I get a high pitched whine ‘don’t count to three mummy’.
    #thesatsesh

  5. At the end of the day it’s ineffective and if you are saying to a child don’t hit, don’t bite, don’t kick and then you smack them it sends a very strange message!

    Thanks so much for linking   up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next time!

  6. I was spanked by my parents but I deserved it every single time. It wasn’t done excessively and I was always told what I had done wrong and why it was wrong. It also was only reserved for the really really bad infractions not as the only degree of punishment.

    If done the way my mom did, I feel like it was appropriate and I raised my kids the same way. Honestly, I can count on one hand how many times I spanked my girls. It just wasn’t my “go to” punishment. But I did spank them and it worked!

    I understand the pro’s and con’s though.

    Thank you for sharing!

    #KCACOLS

  7. I will admit that I have gave my girls a tap on the bottom when they were little. It wasn’t a smack or anything hard. Just enough to bring them back out of the epic tantrums they were having. Now I wouldn’t dream of smacking or tapping them. Banning them from their electronics is much more effective. #PoCoLo

  8. Smacking is not OK in our household – we’re trying to model appropriate behaviour to our children and this is never appropriate. You are right that “ignoring unwanted behaviour, whenever possible and rewarding the good is far more effective.” #thesatsesh xx

  9. It is illegal to smack any child in Australia, I personally am very against smacking, as a person who was abused and beaten I could never ever smack my children and I told my at the time boyfriend now hubby that I could not marry him or have his children unless he agreed with my values on this topic. I don’t like how children are smacked and told that they deserved it, or it was done out of love or protection. to me it is black and white, you can’t physically lay your hands on someone if you love them. I know my view is extreme because of my history but it just brings up so much hurt in me. thanks for linking up for #ABloggingGoodTime

  10. I have to say I don’t agree with it. You don’t want your child to be scared of you so I don’t think it’s acceptable at all I’m afraid!
    Thanks for linking to #ablogginggoodtime

  11. I don’t think it can do any favours, and I’m sure is more about releasing frustration. It’s interesting to see though how attitudes have changed, as I think they have. Thanks for sharing with #PoCoLo

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