Are mums always left holding the baby?

January 18, 2020 Karen 17 comments

Once again this is a topic that was brought up on a daytime television program.

A working mother said that as well as working full time, her husband still expected her to do everything concerning the children in the evenings and weekends.

Another woman said that when she came home from work, her husband told her “I have bathed and got the children ready for bed, for you!”( which she said made her feel as if he thought this was something that she must do and it wasn’t something that he should help with occasionally.

I once overheard a pregnant lady telling a friend that her partner had informed her that if she was going back to work after having the baby she must look for childcare. Looking for childcare here

I also unbelievably know of someone whose husband said that if she wasn’t going back to work after maternity leave- then nether was he!

I must admit that when we had our son my husband wanted to do everything, I was concerned that when I gave up breast feeding I would have hardly any involvement with my baby!

A friend shared that her boyfriend did nothing for their baby daughter to the fact that when she reached the 6 months, or so, age of being wary of strangers she didn’t want daddy anyway. When they had a second child this man made sure that he did some nappy changing and feeding.

When I was working as a registered child minder parents sometimes came together to find out about a placement, but often it would just be the mother ( and with granny too). Both parents did the drop-offs and collecting of children depending on their work patterns

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Please share any thoughts and experiences of this.I love to read any feedback.

Until next time.

Karen

x


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17 Comments on “Are mums always left holding the baby?

  1. From a teacher’s point of view if a mother or father even holds a baby all the time it is very hard for a teacher when they do go into childcare at an infant’s age…because the infant always expects to be held. But when there are 3 (or more) babies that need their needs met it gets difficult because they always want to be held.

  2. I was so lucky my husband took pride in bringing up our three daughters he always polished all our shoes and would line them up in a row by the door. He got this from doing his national service where cleaning shoes was a must. He even took our eldest daughter to work with him after getting permission to do so obviously to give me a rest, this was when I was expecting the two other girls . Another interesting blog Karen .

  3. Good blog Karen. It’s very true what you say. But as a true single parent l have to work full time and do everything else everyday. … no one to share or bounce of any thoughts or concerns regarding Megan’s up bringing ( apart from you , to which l know l will get good sound honest advise).
    I find it sad that the other partner would not want to help out the mother of their child , after all they made the child together so look after them together, you never know what going to happen in life, so enjoy your child while you can.

  4. I do think that women still tend to hold the majority of the burden of raising children. Whilst things have come a long way even since my parents were raising me, I still think there is a very long way to go. #KCACOLS

  5. I can tell you that this particular dad and most of the ones that I know are pretty hands on, in some cases more so than mom as the kids get older. Its a stereotype that I find myself fighting against quite a bit #anythinggoes

    1. no doubt about what Enda said, every family has their own system that works for them. I think the key is making sure that everybody feels that system is fair. In talking to people I find that doesn’t always seem to be the case. #KCACOLS

      1. Yes, when it comes to families, it’s whatever works for you. I’m sure many families would be slow to admit some of what they have to do to make things function smoothly — or at least peacefully!

  6. I find that I always ask permission to leave the kids with Chris, in the same way I used to when I lived with my mum and dad as a single parent. Chris gets home and has to walk our dog Ollie then he goes and goes hobby stuff in the garage. I don’t like to disturb him and when he comes in it feels like he is doing me a favour. Thanks for linking up with #globalblogging

  7. As I am predominantly as SAHM I do most of the childcare and sorting of all the activities etc… but the husband does bath and bedtime every night and the weekends we share depending on whats going on #DreamTeam

  8. Love this post. I believe that nowadays males figures are more hands-in in the upbringing of their children. Compare to decades before.
    Some Father now take pride on the time their spend with the kids and that is just a wonderful change. #alittlebitofeverything.

  9. I am very lucky to have a great husband who does his fair share of the parenting. Unfortunately, he does have to work away a lot, but he makes up for it when he is back! Thank you so much for linking up with #KCACOLS Hope you come back again next time!

  10. Tricky balance. I felt quite resentful when my hubby spent 2 solid hours in the garage while I entertained and fed the kids. I know I work from home but I’d been busy all day and had an evening meeting. Thanks for linking up with #stayclassymama

  11. i have so many friends who, quite frankly, have useless partners when it comes to being good dads. they don’t pull their weight, the childcare is left to the mum – and it’s just not on. it’s a subject that really irritates me tbh – that it’s always down to the woman. we’re already at a disadvantage work-wise if we take maternity too. im lucky that my hubby is very hands on. but that shouldnt be down to luck! if people want kids, they both need to be responsible! #kcacols

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