Are your children out of control, rude, or displaying behaviorsand values that do not support the goals you have for your family? Often these behaviors are mimics of observed behavior. It’s a tough pill to swallow to think that the poor behaviors demonstrated by your children are sometimes a direct reflection of your own behavior. If you want to help change and model proper behaviors for your children you must first examine your own actions and make changes for them to follow.

1. Examine Your Own Behavior

Take a look at the habits, behaviors and values you are modeling for your children. Your children look up to you and will naturally try to copy you and other adults that surround and interact with them. Do you leave your clothing on the floor, dirty dishes at the table and let regular home maintenanceslide? You may feel overwhelmed with daily chores and let some slide, but you may be demonstrating that taking care of the home is not an important value. Take a few minutes every day to tidy up, putting away laundry and dishes and schedule a contractor to come out and fix that dishwasher that has been on the fritz for months.

2. Be Positive and Take Accountability

Are you constantly negative and putting others down around you? Do you complain because nothing seems to go your way? Being a positive and upbeat role model will help with attitudes and help set positive habits and behaviors. Pay attention if you blame everyone else for your misfortunes and behaviors. For example, are you always late to appointments, school and work? Instead of blaming traffic or the fact that your children can’t get their shoes on and out the door in time, plan to get up and leave 15 minutes earlier.

3. Use Polite Language

Too many adults have lost their ability to use “magic words” when making requests. How often does someone tell you or ask you to do something without asking please? Do you use foul languagein front of your children and others on a regular basis? Set up a swear jar for yourself that you add to when using dirty words. Then, take your family out for ice cream once the jar is full and you’ve broken that habit.

4. Re-establish Family Dinner

Too often dinner is on the go, or eaten in front of the TVafter a long day. Instead of giving into to requests to eat separate, re-establish family dinner. It’s a great way to establish good manners and behaviors, it allows you to reconnect and communicate as a family, and models the importance of face-to-face human interaction and conversation.

5. Bring Back the Basics

Do you write handwritten thank you notes when you receive a gift? Are you in the habit of interrupting someone when they are talking because you are suddenly struck with a good idea? Do you make eye contact and shake hands with someone when you meet? There are many basic habits and behaviors that are disappearing and dying out because they seem dated. Determine what habits are important to you, and for your children to model, and add them to your daily life.

 

There are many ways to examine the habits, behaviors and values you are currently instilling in your children. Make a list of those that are important to you and make sure you are a positive role model for these behaviors.