Guilt of having a second baby

April 9, 2021 Karen 22 comments

Paloma Faith has been reported of saying that she felt guilty about having a second child: She said that she felt that she was being disloyal to her daughter and was concerned that she couldn’t love another offspring as much as the first ( did she have enough love for them both?)

Will I love a second child as much as the first here

I think this is quite a common concern that parents don’y like to admit to feeling.

Personally it wasn’t something that I worried about as I had always wanted children and knew that I would be able to love them all; in fact after having my last baby I became a registered child minder and found a space in my heart to feel affection for each child that I cared for too.

When I was expecting my second child I started to prepare my 2 year old son for the new arrival by looking at books together and talking about new babies ( I also had friends who had recently had second children who we visited ).

When my second son came home from hospital with me I encouraged my toddler to help look after him.

Sibling rivalry here

Did you have second baby guilt? Please share any experiences with me.

As always questions and comments are welcome.

Until next time.

Karen

x

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22 Comments on “Guilt of having a second baby

  1. Everybody ever.. And 3rd,4rh 5th for me.. Almost felt like i shoukld of apologised to the existing children for having more…. My kids all love each other now aged
    29….23..20….20..15

  2. So funny that we were just having this conversation at breakfast, remembering how we worried, and how baseless those worries were once we laid eyes on our sweet second son!

  3. Haha I didn’t have the option to feel like this as I had two at once, but I can totally imagine how crazy it must be going from one child that you’ve given all your attention to, to two! #mischiefandmemories

  4. I think a lot of mums experience second child guilt and worry about dividing their attention and stretching their love to cover both children. I do remember wondering how I would cope but my biggest struggle in the early days with two was not feeling like I was bonding with my second child. Thankfully that did improve! I agree that it’s important to prepare children for a new sibling. #PoCoLo

  5. I definitely had anxiety when pregnant with my second! I was terrified that I wouldn’t be able to love her as much as my eldest as that felt so consuming, as well as hguilt that neither of them would have my undivided attention. Now I have 3 and adore them all! Thanks for linking up with #MischiefAndMemories

  6. I didn’t feel this when I had my second baby, but I did feel guilty when I then went on to have twins. I felt that my second child basically lost mummy and daddy as we were all consumed with twin babies when he was just a baby himself at 2 years old. I made sure and still do make sure to let him know how very much I love him. I have found that each of my four need love and attention in different ways so it is easy to give them all the love that they want and I want to show #MischiefAndMemories

  7. My kids are adults and they are 18 months apart. My daughter who is older didn’t really like her brother for a long time because of him being younger and needing more attention that she did. As they got into high school, she kind of became his guide and tried to keep him out of trouble.

    The thing is I always tried to make sure that they were both included in things I was doing.

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