When I working as a registered child minder, the parents of the children would sometimes ask me, as an early years professional, if I thought there was something wrong with their child( if had special needs).
I always tried to give an honest answer, but was also tactful in the way I replied.
One particular mother, who actually worked with special needs children asked me if I thought there was something wrong with her son: I did have a suspicion tghat there was something going on with the child. but didn’t want to upset her, so I told her that yes, Ihad noticed that he was a little slower in his development than the average child and went on to say that as all children were individuals, they do develop at different rates. I suggested that she should have a word with her health visitor to get further advice.
She did this and as it turned out that I was correct in my thinking as the boy was diagnosed with Asperger syndrome once he received the necessary help he did extremely well through life.
Another thing I remember was a child with speech delay:
I asked his mother if he had been for a hearing test first.
Read more about this here.
When I filled in his transition document as he was moving on to a school nursery I knew that I would have to mention this, (otherwise the nursery may think that I had not noticed it/ was not doing observations correctly) but I was also aware that his parents would read it.
I completed the form by saying that I had noticed a speech delay and had told his parents and I thought that he was showing signs of small improvement and that the nursery teacher should monitor it.
A third child left me with no doubt that had some sort of issues, When I took her to a toddler group session, she filled a bucket full of sand at the sand pit and poured it into her mouth.
When I told her father about the incident ( because he might be alarmed if she had sand in her nappy the following day).He told me that they had to stop taking their daughter to the beach because she kept eating vast quantities of sand( the girl also had some other unusual traits that she exhibited).
A few months later after the child had left my setting I was told that she had A.D,H,D, and was autistic.
She eventually attended a special school and came on in leaps and bounds
Working with special needs children here
Have you had to be tactful when responding to a parent asking about a child’s development?
As always questions and comments are welcome.
Until next time.
Karen
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Such an interesting post – it must be really awkward to have that conversation, but having an open dialogue with the child’s parents is important and necessary
Absolutely, Martina, thanks for taking the time to read and leave your comment
As a teacher I feel this post! #kcacols
i bet they would love gloop too, thanks for stopping by, Nancy
It must be so hard balancing honesty with tact in this situation. As an adult with multiple disabilities, most of which my parents denied, I experienced particularly as an older child the loyalty conflict between the school and my parents. My parents obviously always “won”, as they just took me out of that school whenever they started having disagreements. I wish I could say parents always know their child best, but mine didn’t. They did think they had my best interest in mind, but they were very closed-minded and focused solely on my IQ (which is above-average) and the reality that it’d be hard to be educated at an academically challenging level in special education (this was before inclusion, so the choice was special ed or mainstreaming with very few adaptations). Anyway, now that I’m 35 I do understand my parents’ POV as well as the school’s. Thank you for offering insight into your position too. #MischiefandMemories
Thanks for sharing your personal experience, Ing
That’s really interesting Karen. I think as parents, we do look to childminders, nurseries and teachers to give us a heads up if they spot anything out of the ordinary. Great to hear your experience. Thank you for joining us for #mischiefandmemories
Glad to hear that you found my post interesting, Annette, thanks again for having me as a part of your linky
It must be a very fine line – working out how it will be received. #KCACOLS
It certainly is that, Lydia thanks for your comments
I think we need to be honest and realistic with families. Diagnosis often takes a long time and parents need to know where to get advice so it is great that you can support them. Thanks for linking up with MischiefAndMemories.
Thanks for leaving your thoughts, Laura and for having me as a part of the linky
This is a thought-provoking piece, thanks for sharing X #pocolo
Thanks for stopping by
I find this really interesting, I’ve asked my daughters preschool teacher whether she’s noticed anything unusual in my daughter’s behaviour as I was diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome aged 21. I don’t think my daughter is showing any signs of autism and neither does her teacher but I felt they needed to be aware that it was in the family.
Katrina x
#KCACOLS
Abs, Katrina, thanks for sharing and I wish your granddaughter all the 6
You handled that all very well. I once asked a parent when their child was diagnosed with autism, the parent said their child wasn’t autistic, they were, it was a very difficult initial conversation.
Thanks for sharing with #pocolo and hope to see you back again soon
Thanks, oo, that does sound awkward, thanks for your input
As a parent of a child (now 14 ys old) with special needs, I think the main advice – if the parent asks for your opinion/advice – would be to be honest (without being rude). Just factually say what things you’ve noticed that could indicate possible need of extra support, and advice them to ask their doctor/health visitor about getting an assessment. It’s better to know, and usually better to get help early, than to wait.
If the parents haven’t asked, but their child is in your care part of the time and you see that they are having unusual difficulties which could indicate some kind of neurodevelopmental disability, then I would probably set up a meeting with them to let them know you’ve noticed these things and that, in your experince, it would probably be a good idea for them to discuss this with a relevant professional (health visitor, GP etc).
Interesting questions to think about, thank you for posting about this, and thank you also for linking up with #KCACOLS x
Great advice, thanks for sharing your experience, Malin