I often get inspiration for blog topics from social media so when I read a few weeks ago that Bridget Nelson gave birth to a baby aged 54 and last year Janet Jackson had her first baby at 50, also a woman in China who is pregnant aged 67.
There was also a woman on a daytime television show who lives in Australia who has had a baby aged 58. She explained that she had suffered with fertility problems that had prevented her from getting pregnant at a younger age. Now that she was a mother she felt complete, she said and she didn’t feel like an older mother as she had plenty of energy and thinks she is coping well so far. She also mentioned that she didn’t plan on having any more as one was enough!
This got me thinking how old is too old to have a baby?
I had my children when I was young, from as long as I can remember I wanted to get married and have babies: I was 22 when I had my first, 24 my second and 29 my final child, I remember feeling a lot older than the other young pregnant girls at anti- natal groups even then.
General feelings seem to be that waiting to have children is selfish because with old age comes ill health, not so in my case, I suffered a massive stroke 7 days before my 44th birthday which has left me disabled.
I am so pleased that I decided to have children young as I was able to be a mummy to them when they needed me.
Some woman put off having children so that they can concentrate on their careers, I know of a head teacher who waited until she was 43 to have her 1st child.
I have a friend who had children while in her twenties then after moving onto a new relationship with a younger man went on to have 2 more when in her forties, while out with her younger sons a stranger made a comment that the boys were enjoying being out with grandma, when she told him she was their mother he couldn’t get away quick enough. she did admit that she was old enough to be a grandparent as she had children who were old enough to have children of their own.
Why do members of the public only frown upon older mothers and not older fathers, I often wonder?
Today with medical intervention parents can have children later in life than they could many years ago. Is that so bad?
In my opinion as long as a child is wanted and loved it doesn’t matter what age the parents are and it may not necessarily be down to personal choice, but circumstance that decides.
So how old is too old to have a baby?
I would be interested to hear what others think of this subject.
As always questions, comments and topic suggestions are welcome.
Until next week
Karen
x
In the above photos, I was 42, when I fell pregnant. I already had 4 older children, with children of their own. It was a shock, a surprise, a mixture of feelings. While she is the light of our world, I didn’t realize that I would deal with lots of health issues and menopause. Having to go thru the school system again, dealing with the fear of a drug filled world. It’s very difficult to raise a child when your tired and have no energy.
She’s a beautiful, happy child, and I wouldn’t change a thing, but don’t think it gets easier as you get older, that’s just not true.
There are many pros, but just as many cons.
Think carefully before taking the plunge.
Thanks for sharing your story, Rikki and for being kind enough to allow me to use your beautiful photos x
I agree with you,as long as the baby is well and loved what’s the problem. Being a fit person would be a massive asset as babies are hard work and demanding. I am glad I had my girls in my twenties as I now have eight lovely grandchildren and five great grandchildren . I feel that now in my mid seventies I still feel young at heart and able to enjoy the joy and pride of my wonderful family.
I’m 31 this year and worried about being to old to have children. Yet I don’t feel stable enough to bring a child into this world until I have my life sorted out.
I was 16 when I fell pregnant with my first and I’m 26 on Wednesday and have three kids, I don’t plan to have anymore kids. I honestly think there isn’t an age where you’re too old. Aslong as the child is loved and the parents meet their needs. However, I do think 60+ is a little old. Only reason being, when the child is 10 that parent is going to be 70+ and I have grandparents who are 75 and their health is going down hill a little. #KCACOLS
I had Cygnet when I was 33 and I strangely felt like a young mum. I am not sure that I knew what I was doing.
You are right that older women who become mothers are frowned upon whereas older men as fathers seems perfectly natural. I hate this societal injustice. Pen x #KCACOLS
I am 48 with a 7 year old. I think at this point I would cry if I had a newborn. So for me….48 is to old!! #kcacols
I had my two at 28 and 32. They’re not 12 and 8. I’m glad I had them when I did and I’ve made the decision not to have anymore. I’m 40 now. But that’s my choice. I would never let anyone tell me I was too old. If you feel it’s right for you, then good on you. Let it be an individual choice x #AnythingGoes
Hi Karen, I’m sorry to hear you’re disabled. But happy you are still alive to love your children!
I think 69 is waaaay to old! Just personal opinion. I have 2 grandbabies, 2 and 5. At 57 all I can handle is the weekends!! then I have to have a massive sleep in!! I’m 57.
Inspire Me Monday
Hmm… Technically you’re only as old as your bodies capabilities. If you can have them and want them then have them. You just have to know you’re not exactly going to be able to be there for them for most of their lives. I think my cut off personally would be around 40-45. At least then when they’re independent I’ll be retired anyway. #AnythingGoes
I think it’s all down to the individual. I do think in your 50s is a quite old to be having a baby and these women may struggle with parenting when they were in their 60s and 70s! But perhaps these famous women have an entourage of nannies and helpers?! I was 36 when I had my first baby and 38 when I had my second. I was aware that I was older than most. My best friend had her first baby last year aged 42, but she’d had years of miscarriages so I was pleased for her when it finally happened. #KCACOLS
This is something I’ve thought more and more about recently. I’m hurtling towards 40 and am still to decide if I want a second child. I keep thinking time might not be on my side, but perhaps it is? It’s certainly food for thought. Thanks for sharing with #TriumphantTales, do come back next week!
I had my first at 33 and my second just 3 months ago at 36. I haven’t completely ruled out a third but I’m leaning toward no. My main concern is the health of the baby since the risk of birth defects increases with age. But of course the ideal time is different for everyone and there are both pros and cons to having thiose babies at various points in life. #KCACOLS
I was 40 when I became pregnant and 41 when I had my son. I didn’t meet my husband until my mid thirties so it had never been a plan to have children later, just being in the right relationship and with someone with shared values. I agree it’s about a child being loved and wanted. There are some advantages to having children older, and also many with being younger. #BloggerClubUK
I loved the idea of having my kids young. Even though my family members wished to have their kids later in life I see now that it was probably best that things worked out as they did. I know for me that my health issues would become a major problem later on in life.
#Alittlebitofeverything
I have to believe this will vary from person to person… and, it is quite unfair about the father thing. I mean they can be 80 and get a cigar and a pat on the back. We would make world news tonight! Ugh! #KCACOLS xo
Popping back from #TriumphantTales.
I was 28 when I had my oldest and I counted as a geriatric mother! Chris became a dad for the first time when he was 40: he thinks it is tough work and wishes he’d had kids younger. Thanks for linking up with #globalblogging
Age is irrelevant. As long as you are healthy physically and mentally, I say go for it!
I was 36 when we had my daughter. I’m glad that I waited until I was a bit more mature, with my priorities in order and less selfish than when I was young, but there are times when I know that I would have had more energy when I was younger. I think there are pluses and minuses to both #KCACOLS
It’s such a personal decision. I was 32 and it felt like exactly the right age for us. I don’t have much energy now let alone in ten years time! #BloggerClubUK
As someone with and older father (he was in his mid 40s when I was born), I know all too well the comments of being out with “grandad” as a child. I certainly wouldn’t have wanted him to have been any older when I was born. I think parents have a responsibility to their children. If you have a child in your 50s, then by the time they finish their education they’re going to have to turn around and look after you rather than enjoy their 20’s. They’re also potentially going to miss out on grandparents. My Dad’s grandparents had all died before he was born and it’s something he feels he missed out on. His parents died when I was very young (they were by then in their mid 80’s), and so I missed out on a lot with them.
I’m in my late thirties now and have chronic illness, so I doubt I’ll have any children (though do enjoy the company of my niece and nephew). If I do have children, then I think time is running out. I wouldn’t want to be too old.
Hi Karen, it’s a tricky subject. No one really frowns upon men when they become Dads later in life, so they shouldn’t when it comes to women either. Ill health can effect us at any age, but the older we get the more likely it is to happen, but on the other hand we are living longer and healthier lives and I’m sure that any woman who has a baby later in life is aware of that and will do all she can to look after herself.
Thank you for joining in with #keepingitreal.
xx
I think it is each to their own and depends on one’s health, financial and personal situation, however for me, I decided that 45 for too old to be considering more children and this was to do with the fact my eldest would be 24 soon and I didn’t want to be raising kids as well as having grandchildren, I wanted the experience of grandchildren to be unique for my children not something they had to share #keepingitreal
This is a little un PC to say, and I’m sorry if I cause any offense. I had my first and 30 and my last at 40. I have to say, having a baby at any age is fine, it’s the having a teenager that becomes the issue. You are never too old or too tired to be there for a baby, but the emotional hoops you may need to jump thru with a teen is exhausting, your understanding of the ‘new’ lay of the land, the new normal needs to be constantly kept up to date so you know what you are dealing with, and how to parent it. I already feel tired at the thought of how old I will be when my youngest hits 15. I would hate to be trying to be all that to a teenager at 70 or even 65. The focus should never be on when to have a baby, but what age you will be to see them to 18 or 20….however, life throws curve balls all the time, so you can never guarantee anything. Whatever you have becomes your normal. So each to her own. Interesting post. #KALCOLS
I totally agree with everything you say, Lydia
A few years back we had 3 teenage sons living at home and I have been told that boys are easier than girls at that age! Thanks for sharing your thoughts x
I really feel like you should be able to be active enough for your baby and be there for a few years to see them growing up. But I had mine at 40. I wouldn’t rule out having another one, but I’m thinking of when they’re older. I had my first at 26, she’s now 14 I’d hate not to be there for my kids when they need me. I guess it’s up to the individual! #KCACOLS
Hi,
I was 38 when I had my last. I worked full time had 2 other children and I was VERY tired, but like others here, I love her to the moon and back and wouldn’t change a thing.
Janice
I think you’re absolutely spot-on. As long as the child is loved and has their basic needs met, parental age shouldn’t be a factor. Though the thought of another baby at 43 makes me feel tired!… #kcacols
I think the timing is different for everyone and depends a lot on your circumstances. I would not have been ready to have children in my twenties. I’m currently pregnant with my second at 41, and was almost 37 when I had my first. Thanks for linking up with #kcacols – hope you can join us again next time!
A book called Pregnancy Miracle is a must read for any woman trying to get pregnant. I was devastated and so was my husband after being told by my fertility specialist at age 38 that I had no option but to consider adoption or donor eggs (according to my doctor I was out of eggs and gave me 4% chance of getting pregnant and a 2% chance of carrying a baby to full term). After much research and dozens of hours reading infertility related articles and posts online, I have found this book! I never believed in anything alternative to western medicine and thought all the other stuff like Chinese medicine was a hoax. But I was soon glad to be wrong as I followed the step by step guidelines. After one month of trying I became pregnant and had a beautiful healthy boy. Nine months after that I did everything in the book again and after 2 months of trying I got pregnant again and gave birth to another perfect little boy. I would recommend anyone with an open mind to read this book. It just might be the answer to your prayers: http://www.healthwise101.com/pregnancy-miracle
Thanks for sharing your personal experience, Kelly