When I was working as a registerered child minder it took me a while to master the ‘secret’ of easier drop offs/collecting children by parents

I had one particular child, J. Who when mum dropped him off in the morning wasn’t too bad. but when his dad brought him it was a completely different story. Dad usually carried him in and as soon as he put him down J would instantly put his arms out asking to be picked up again. After giving him a kiss dad would head off to work. J would run after him screaming for his dad.

The first few times that this happened I picked the child up and tried to console him. He would kick and scream, scratch and one time even bit me, it was then that I decided to do things differently. I realised that it wasn’t me that J wanted so I made sure that my front door was locked and knowing that J was safe. I calmly walked away and left him to get it out of his system. Yes he kicked and punched the door a few times all the while still screaming. But eventually he calmed himself down wiped away his tears with the back of his hand and walked over to me and sid “J has stopped being silly now Karen!”

It was then that I picked him up and gave him a cuddle, I also texted his dad telling him that his son was O.K I recieved a call from his dad during his lunch break thanking me for the text saying that he felt awful while driving to work knowing that his offspring was so distressed.

I think some children kick off to make a parent feel guiltly for leaving them and often as soon as they saw or heard my garden gate being closed behind a parent they would stop crying until the parent returned at the end of the day when they would cry again because they didn’t want to go home!

I also think the key to easier drop offs is to keep them short it just prolongs the agony if parents hang around before leaving for work. a quick kiss and a” Goodbye I’ll see you after work.” is really all that a child needs. I would also explain to parents that sneaking off while the child isn’t looking should also be avoided. A child needs to understand that they are only with the child minder while their parent is at work. and by sneaking off a child will learn not to let go of or take their eyes off of a parent worried that their parent is suddenly going to disappear.

Sometimes I did of course try to console a child by taking them over to the window asking them what they could see to take their mind off of a parent leaving. As an early years proffesional you will know the children in your care well and therefore understand what works best for that child.

When it was time for a child to be collected I would get them ready by putting on shoes and coats and getting their bags ready to hand over. It seems that now since covid19 child minders like to a door step drop off/pick up but when I was child minding I would invite parents in and tell them about our day. Most parents were keen to get their child home and would leave quite soon. A few., however would overstay sometimes

even taking off their coat and sitting down for a chat. This annoyed me a little as I had things to get on with after the mindees had left, such as spending time with my own children and preparing a meal for the family.

Please share yourthoughts, experiences and any tips that may help otheres by leaving a comment on this post.

As always questions and comments are welcome.

Until next time.

Karen

x