After watching a child have a major temper tantrum in a supermarket, a customer ( who was not the parent) told him to “Shut up!”
Is it okay to discipline someone else’s child?
I used to work as a registered child minder and therefore I had to manage the behaviour of the children in my care; who were not my own. Parents would often ask how I did this before deciding on whether to leave their children with me: – read how I did it here
I was once told by a parent who had a child with special needs that when he was misbehaving people would often stare or mutter under their breath, she then told me that on one occasion a woman ( who had obviously realised that her son had some additional needs) came over and politely asked if she could help. The parent said that this was just what they needed; a helping hand to get the child back under control without feeling that she was being judged.
If you feel that a child needs to be disciplined you should speak to the parent before taking it upon yourself to tell the child off.
How would you feel if a stranger told your child off? I know that I wouldn’t like it.
I now volunteer at a toddler group since ill health forced me to give up child minding.
When I was playing with the play dough along with the children one boy took all the rolling pins so the others couldn’t have them. I looked towards his mother who was looking at her phone, so I decided to have a try, I asked him calmly if he would let another child have a turn with a rolling pin; to my amazement he handed one over, so I gave him lots of verbal praise.
Would you discipline someone Elsie’s child?Please share any thoughts and experiences.
As always comments and questions are welcome.
Until next time.
Karen
x
Well there’s an interesting question. No! Unless they were doing something dangerous that could harm them or someone else and the parent was nowhere to be seen, but even then, you need to handle it very diplomatically, because you never know if a child has additional needs.
#AnythingGoes
A difficult topic I think – probably straightforward with responsible parents but if parents don’t seem to care and the child may upset/disturb others? #dreamteam
Unless i’m entrusting the care of my child to someone else; nursery, child minder, family or friend, I definitely wouldn’t like someone else disciplining my child. If she misbehaved, i would expect that person to speak to me about it.
#AnythingGoes
It would take a pretty extreme situation before I spoke up I think, a child hitting mine or something along those lines. I can say that I would not react well to somebody else pulling that with my kid in ,my presence #anythinggoes
The other customer was out of line – the kid could have had major autism or some other underlying issue behind the behaviour. In my house I have ticked off other kids being out of line. But once your outside your own four walls, it’s sort of not your issue. I’ve had to bite my tongue while an 11 year old threw her mum’s bag because she didn’t like what the mum had brought for afternoon tea. THe mum just ignored it. I couldn’t believe it. But I said nothing…(and that kid is 11 – wtf???).#StayclassyMama
I agree that I wouldn’t like people to discipline my child. I would have to bite the bullet and keep my mouth shut if I was leaving that child in someone else’s care. But not in my presence, or I would have to say something.
I am tempted to say I have enough on disciplining my own children without getting involved. But seriously I think most parents are doing their best which is good enough and often contending with special needs issues that may not be known about by other people #ThatFridayLinky #BinkyLinky
I too have a background in childcare where it was part of my role to discipline children in may care however, outside the work place it would take a very essential reason to get involved with someones child, and I deffinitley wouldn’t appreciate a random stranger speaking to my children x x
I think context is very important and so is safety. I will happily speak to children at soft play as their parents are often not close by and a quick intervention is needed to prevent danger or upset to other children. I wouldn’t like other people disciplining my children but I would accept it if their behaviour was not appropriate. I think that telling someone their behaviour is not good is not discipline as there are no consequences or chance to amend. Thanks for linking up with #globalblogging
That is such a tricky question. I have had to correct someone else’s child before and when I say correct, I mean talked, in a very stern voice, to another child. He was bullying my son and the mother wasn’t doing anything to correct the behavior so I stepped in. No one messes with my kid and that’s that. Discipline, however, I don’t believe is needed on other children that aren’t my own unless I’m given permission to do so. I also used to work with children in a professional setting where I did have to sit children in time-out and such. That was part of the job though. outside of that setting, it would take something pretty big, like bullying, for me to step in. Usually, I prefer to bring it to the attention of the parent though as I also have a child with special needs. When he was little I used to get dirty looks just for his odd behavior. No temper tantrums needed. So again, I think it depends on the situation and if you can approach the parent, which I personally prefer. #GlobalBlogging
I wouldn’t discipline another person’s child, but if for example they were pushing mine and their parent wasn’t there – for example when they are in soft play I would ask them to stop politely and calmly. #DreamTeam
It is important to treat others with respect and children need to be aware of how they treat others. Discipline implies consequences and that isn’t appropriate but a simple talking to could be hugely beneficial. Thanks for linking up with #stayclassymama
As I see it, some people feel they have right to correct “misbehaving” child because they feel their behaviour inconveniences them. For me children don’t misbehave. Children learn how to control emotions and learn about boundaries. I don’t have problem with someone’s child throwing tantrum because sometimes Cchildren are tired or hungry, parents have to take them out and that’s reality of life. Ley me give you example. If I saw a child throwing their shoes around I would ask their parents if I can put their child’s shoes back and pick then and ask little one for cooperation. Nobody needs meaningless scolding or even worse to scary child so they behave. But it’s always nice to get helping hand.
Your thoughts make perfect sense to me,Nina, thanks for taking the time to share