This is a question that was asked on a social media site:
My thought was no, we shouldn’t always let them win, as children need to learn that life can be hard and they can’t always be a winner.
Loosing sometimes is something that is going to happen.
I have been told by a friend that her family visited another family every Christmas day afternoon where they would always play bingo, which was great except that the youngest child in that household always had to win, making it very unfair on the other children – so as not to cause upset on a special day everyone went along with this rule.
I will admit to letting my grandson win when he raced me, I am a wheelchair user and he enjoyed racing me through the park; as my electric wheelchair could go faster than his 4 year old legs I made sure it was on a slow speed. My grandson lived hundreds of miles away and didn’t come to visit very often, so that’s my excuse!
I know that some schools hold non-competitive sports days so that children who don’t win don’t get upset; to me this is ridicules as I have already mentioned they need to learn and except that they won’t always come first and sports day gives the non academic children a chance to show what they are good at.
When I was a child minder one of the girls used to cheat at board games so she would win, I felt that she was using initiative to do this , so I wasn’t too annoyed about it and the other children used to laugh when I pointed out that she was cheating.
Of course the plus side of letting children win is that it will boost their confidence and self esteem.
I would be interested to hear what other think.
Please leave any comments or questions.
Until next time.
Karen
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Completely agree I find letting them win is a way of them learning things in life come easy. Losing from time to time helps them deal with disappointment but also you can’t win everything, and encouraging them to praise the winner. We try to win at uno but even though we try not let them win, our 4 year old well, I don’t know how she does it. She always wins 😂
Thanks sharing your thoughts and experience, Eddie
I don’t agree with letting children win, one of my great grandchildren used to try to win while playing board games. We told her not to cheat and to be fair she accepted this really well. It’s all about fair play whatever you do.
That’s great, Pearl, that your granddaughter took notice of what you told her, thanks for sharing
If I was playing a game, I definitely wouldn’t let my boys win. Firstly, because I think children need to learn to be both good winners and good losers. Secondly, because I am super competitive and I don’t think it’s a bad thing to show them that it’s ok to want to win as long as they do it kindly when they do and aren’t sour if they don’t!
Forgot to say, I was popping in from #GlobalBlogging
Absolutely, thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment
I think there is a time and place for both sides. If they never win they will get discouraged and not want to play anymore. I think that like most things it depends on the situation. “Always” isn’t a word that I use often #dreamteam
I think you have hit the nail on the head, Jeremy, thanks for sharing your thoughts
I helped out on a school maths day and there were a number of kids that had apparently never lost before, and seriously were screaming and crying (and they were about 8!!). You can’t do this, especially if you are playing with 2 or 3 siblings. 2 always have to lose. Being a gracious loser, learning to love the game regardless of outcome is also a skill. And it’s a really great skill for later in life. You want to do dance class but are hopeless, you can still take great pleasure in it. You want to do archery but rarely hit the target? It’s still a passion…I don’t think it hurts to play the game for the enjoyment of the game, not the need to win. #StayClassyMama
Thanks for sharing your experience, Lydia
This is such an interesting one! I think there does have to be a bit of a balance for both letting a little one win and lose. If they lose too often, it’s not going to be fun.. but at the same time, if they always win, that’s not going to help them to deal with losing, especially as they get older. Thank you for joining us with this fab conversation starter on the #DreamTeamLinky
Thanksforbletting me join the dreamteam@ linky, Annette and thanks for sharing your thoughts
That’s similar to the way I used them, thanks for leaving your thoughts
i think a bit of both so it doesn’t discourage them to want to give up but also not win all the time giving them an idea that you can win at everything X
Totally agree with that, thanks for stopping by
We do a bit of both in my house, sometimes they win and sometimes they lose. My four year old doesn’t really like it when her sister wins over her but she doesn’t always fully understand at times either. I think kids need a balance, they need to experience both. Winning all the time is unrealistic and you have to be able to deal with defeats. It’s the picking yourself up and not letting it get you down that counts! Thanks very much for sharing this with us at #globalblogging, very interesting topic!
Thank you, Tracey and thanks for sharing
I have 3 children so necessarily there are losers and winners. Taking turns and fairness are important social skills to learn and coping with victory and defeat are essemtial for child development. Thanks for linking up with #dreamteamlinky
Totally, Laura, thanks for braving me and for sharing your thoughts and experience
I do sometimes cheat to let the kids win but not often enough for them to catch me! Thanks for linking up with #stayclassymama
I think they need to learn to loose and why we can’t always win, but in a gradual way. #stayclassymama
Absolutely, Karen
I don’t think you should let kids win ALL the time. BUT I do think that sometimes you need to.
I have watched my son play games with my husband (our son is 6) and my husband and I’ve noticed that when they keep losing over and over and over, especially if they are REALLY getting beat, it just makes them lose all of their confidence and just not want to play anymore.
I will play games with him and for every 2 or 3 rounds I win, I let him win 1. This way he doesn’t want to give up completely, but still knows that you aren’t going to win all of the time. I also make sure to encourage him when he loses and try to emphasize that games are for fun and it really doesn’t matter who wins as long as it’s fun.
That’s great, thanks for taking the time to share with me