Most children’s first experience of death is the loss of a beloved pet.
I lost my pet rabbit when I was about 5 years old and was so upset that my mum let me have a few days off of school to get over my loss.
My son’s were understandably upset when their pets passed away; be it a hamster, rabbit or dog.
If your child experiences a death of any kind, human or pet talk to them calmly about their emotions; tell them that you know they are sad. and that it’s O. K. to be feeling that way.
Explain about funerals: Only you can make the decision of whether to let the child attend the funeral.
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Tell them what will happen at the funeral and explain that grandma ( or w0hoever has passed) was loved by the people at the funeral and they may be feeling sad too.
Help your child to remember the deceased by drawing pictures, writing a letter.
You could make a memory box containing photos and a possession belonging to that person/animal.
My granddaughter has kept her dog’s collar as a reminder of happy times together, which has helped her to deal with the feeling of grief and loss.
Don’t dwell on the child being sad for too long, after talking together do something the child likes to lighten the atmosphere; cooking together or play a game to take their mind off the sadness.
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A friend of mine whose child lost her daddy put a note and one of her stuffed toys in the coffin and on special days, such as his birthday and father’s day they release balloons for him that float up to heaven so he can see them and know that he was loved and is missed.
I would like to thank my Facebook friends for allowing me to use their personnel photos.
As always questions and comments are welcome.
Until next time.
Karen
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Some lovely ideas to remember loved ones x
Thank you Rose, appreciate your comment
What a brilliant blog Karen a very delicate subject
Thanks, Pearl
Everything from goldfish to grandfathers eventually dies, and you are wise to advise parents to be proactive.
Exactly, Michele, thanks for stopping by
It’s a head one. Good post. #MischiefandMemories
Thanks, Lydia
And back for #KCACOLS
Not sure if my comment went thru? #KCACOLS
Yes,Lydia I have your comment, thanks
A really useful post, its really important to find ways to remember loved ones with children. Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next time
Thanks, Jade and for having me as a part of the linky
Good advice!
Thank you Barbara
We lost one of our very close family friends a few months ago. We haven’t had the heart to mention it to our daughter (she is only 4), but given we spent time with him most weekends she must notice his absence. Although strangely, she hasn’t mentioned him at all since the day it happened. We do need to discuss it with her, but my husband and I also need to find the right words first as we are still grieving ourselves. #KCACOLS
Hopefully this post will help you and your daughter, thanks for sharing this with me
These are good tips. I do think that people should be more open when it comes to talking to children about death and not make it a taboo subject. We have been very open with Sophie about death since Jessica died – she knows that it’s okay to feel whatever she feels about it at any one time and that she can talk to us and we will listen to her. We don’t hide our own sadness from her either. One of the things I would also add is that it is important to use the correct terminology with children. Sophie will tell you that Jessica ‘died’ – we don’t talk about ‘falling asleep’ or ‘passing away’ as those terms are confusing and can be more frightening. I have also learned in the last few years that children will ‘puddle jump’ in and out of emotions with grief and can go from being sad to behaving quite normally in a split second and that is absolutely normal for them to do. #MischiefandMemories
Totally agree with using the correct words, Louise, sorry to hear of your loss, thanks for being brave enough to share with me
It’s so important to remember little ones feelings and how they might differ from adults who have a lot more life experience. These are some really lovely ideas of keeping memories alive. Thank you for sharing your post over on #mischiefandmemories
Absolutely, Annette, thanks for your kind words and for letting me take part in your linky
There are some lovely ideas there for helping children with this impossible subject. Thanks for being with us on the #MischiefAndMemories Linky
Thank you and for having me as a part of the linky party
Sadly we have had several deaths in the last decade and my eldest has been to 7 funerals. We have a very elderly dog so have open discussions about death regularly to ehlp prepare the children and us for the inevitable. Thanks for linking up with #MischiefAndMemories
Sorry for your losses, Laura and thanks for having me as a part of the linky as always
This is a really tough one – ours haven’t lost a pet or close family member yet but I know it’s only a matter of time. We have 2 house cats & I know they’ll bd devastated when they go #mischiefandmemories
Hopefully my ideas will help when the sad day comes
This is really good advice to help with a tricky and sensitive topic x #kcacols
Thank you for your kind words
So tricky trying to navigate death with children – some lovely ideas here x #KCACOLS
Thank you, Hannah