When I first applied to become a registered child minder, many years ago now, we were all advised, at a compulsory foundation course ( designed as an introduction to child minding)not to child mind for friends or neighbours, I wasn’t sure, then, why this was so and when I received my child minders certificate, I was, as I imagine a lot of new child minders are, very excited and eager to start my new vocation.
My first child came via an advertisement I placed with my hair dresser and quite soon after, my neighbour enquired about me looking after her 2 daughters during the school holidays. I was keen to take on more work and couldn’t think why anyone would turn children down, so I agreed. I wrote out a contract, as I did for all parents and we both signed. The evening before the holidays started, my neighbour Brenda, knocked on my door, “I am going to give my eldest child a key for our garage,” she told me. “Then if they want to play out on their bikes they can.”
We lived in a quite cal- du- sac and my house was at the end, all the children who lived there, played together, in a safe environment, as all the parents could see them from their windows and we all kept an eye on everyone.
This arrangement worked well for the first week, as the weather was good, so I sat outside on my garden wall, with a coffee, watching the children play.
The problems started at the end of the second week, when Brenda’s husband finished work earlier than expected and came to collect his girls earlier than the contracted time, which wasn’t a problem, in its self, all the children were playing inside, the problem surfaced at the end of the month on pay day,when in spite of writing a contract together, Brenda said that she hadn’t realised she still had to pay for all the agreed hours, even when her children had been collected early. I explained to her, that child minding was how I chose to make a living and I didn’t do it just for fun. She did pay up, in full, but I felt, afterwards, that things weren’t quite as friendly between us.
The following week I went outside with my coffee, just as my own children were going into Brenda’s garage, “What are you doing?” I called after them. “We’re bored of our bikes, we are going to watch T.V,” my eldest son replied. I went after them all and explained that they couldn’t stay there unsupervised and that they could watch T.V. for a while in my house, which they agreed to.
. When Brenda came home I explained what had happened and suggested that her children’s bikes were put into my garage in future while she was at work
.
Another time, I told the children that I needed to go to the shop, a few streets away to get a few bits and that they could ride their bikes along side me, we could go via a traffic free path, so it was very safe, another neighbour saw us passing her house and called out to me,”Can my two go along too?” I explained that that wouldn’t be possible, as it would take me over my permitted number of children, she said, ” but I’m not going to pay you, so it won’t matter surely.” I told her politely that I’m not paid for my own children, but they were still included in the number my certificate allowed. We got around this problem, by her coming along too, which worked well, as she went into the shop to get my milk, while I waited outside with all the children and their bikes.
I now completely understand why we were advised all those months ago not to child mind for friends or neighbours. I learnt, from experience, that it is better to child mind for strangers and then become friends with them. I have made some wonderful life long friends from child minding for several years and have cared for many different children.
.As always, questions/comments are welcome.
Until next time.
Karen
x
I’ve heard this from a few friends, especially around money it can get really awkward
It is so hard when friends and neighbours take advantage #KCACOLS
I can imagine it could be difficult yes! 😮
I don’t think it’s such common knowledge this with “maximum allowed” children and so forth. I am certain I wouldn’t have thought about it.
But I guess there are some things that you are best to not do in regards to friends and family, just like there are some things you don’t…talk about…with friends and family hehe.
#KCACOLS
Yes, child minders and all early years practitioners have to stay within strict numbers for the amount of children that they are registered to have in their care x
Sounds like a really difficult scenario! Hopefully the friendship didn’t suffer too much. Crazy to think she didn’t know she would have to pay even though kids were collected early!
#KCACOLS
You would be surprised, Nicola, how many parents make out that they don’t understand the contract they have signed!
mhm sounds complicated alright. always difficult to mix friends and business, especially when childminding as profession isn’t given the credit it deserves… #globalblogging
What a tricky situation. When I was teaching, I preferred to work in schools a bit further away from home, so that I had a very distinct separation between work and home life and didn’t bump into any of my pupils or have awkward conversations with parents that should be had inside school. #KCACOLS & #DreamTeam
Oh I can certainly see how this would be a problem, but never would have thought it would until I read this. I guess it’s one of those things you have to fund out for yourself. #bloggerclubuk
I too have made some great friends working in children’s centres as I found caring for peoples children is a great beginning in gaining trust and getting to know someone. However, apart from the odd babysitting jobs outside work I have always declined job offers from friends, like you said you are doing it to make a living and mixing business with your pals is not always a good idea x x
So true … it really is better to keep friends and business relationships separate. When things go wrong, they go really wrong in these situations. Best avoided! #ALittleBitOfEverything
I can imagine the problems here and very good points X #kcacols #dreamteam
Yeah, a friend had her neighbour do it, and then had a huge fight with the neighbour over the fence (My friend’s fault) and they ended up having to move and find new childcare – what a nightmare! #Stayclassymama
Not sure my comment went thru?
I have your comment, thanks Lydia
It’s really tricky – I almost set up as a childminder after teaching but started nannying instead. I knew the family I nannied for, they were friends of a friend and I faced similar issues. They had many, many holidays which were often booked last minute and the expectation was that I would make those missed days up elsewhere … it meant that some weeks I didn’t work at all but others I worked everyday, even the days I wasn’t contracted to do just to fit the hours in. They also started to get a bit lax with coming home on time. It was a bit stressful towards the end. Hard because they were friends, but keeping it professional and friendly was tricky #blogginggoodtime
I hadn’t thought about it in that way before. Yes, it could become very difficult indeed – I don’t think everyone realises that there’s a professional line that has to be respected, no matter how close friends they are. Thanks for sharing with the #dreamteam 🙂
Mixing work and frindships is never a good idea no matter what you do for a living, there is always the risk that people will try to blur the lines and expext more of you as you’re friends.
#abitofeverything
I can see why this would cause a lot of issues. It is such a shame that this happens really isn’t it! I imagine it is really hard to keep things professional when dealing with friends and neighbours. Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next time
I hate awkward situations, which is why so far I haven’t sewn for friends either. Never mix business and friendships! #KCACOLS
It’s definitely not advised to mix friendship or family and business. It can lead to destroyed relationships. I hope your relationships have healed. #KCACOLS.
I imagine it must be difficult to keep boundaries when mixing personal lives with business. Thanks for linking up with #stayclassymama
Never work for friends or family is good advice for anyone. And contracts are very important. #kcacols