Being a step parent , whether a mother or father can be hard work.
My husband and I are both step parents and so are 2 of my sons ( I brought 2 children into the equation from my first marriage and my husband had a son from his).
My advice is to not expect too much too soon, give step children time and space to learn to accept you. Don’t try to take the place of any absent parent here.
Our step children never called as mum or dad as they all had another absent parent who they saw on a regular basis. but if a stranger who wasn’t aware of the situation ever referred to us as mum or dad; they didn’t correct them, I think they found it easier to go along with it rather than explaining to that stranger.
Try to laugh with your step child whenever possible, also do activities together if you can.
As I was a keen horse rider and rode a friend’s horse at the weekends, as she also had a pony suitable for a child I sometimes took the children with me. My step son and I spent a lovely afternoon riding together, as I lead his pony along beside me we hacked through the country lanes passing several farms, as the lad had an interest in vehicles and machinery he told me what he knew about the farm vehicles that we saw.
My husband was a self employed painter and decorator so when he was working on a friend’s property he took my 4 year old along with him, they had a great time bonding until I received a phone call ” Mummy can you run me a bath? I’ve fallen in the paint!”( ( he hadn’t actually fallen in the paint but he had more paint on him than the gate that he was meant to be painting).
My now grown son takes his step son wild camping, just the 2 of them as a way of bonding and getting away from the 3 girls in the house.
Other activities to do with step children, or any children are fishing or cooking is great as you can work along side each other and chat without having to give direct eye contact, which some children can feel threatened by, or why not take a walk or bike ride together?
Take each day as it comes and eventually you will hopefully form a strong and loving relationship.
Other useful posts are blended families here and co-parenting here
As always questions and comments are welcome.
Until next time.
Karen
x
Linked with
Some helpful advice here for anyone in this situation.it must be very difficult for the children to accept a new step mum or step dad ..
Me and my partner are both step-parents too – I agree its hard work! I also agree that patience, time and space are key to starting a good relationship with your stepkids.
This is really helpful advice xx #kcacols
A lovely tip, to work along side children without direct eye contact. To be fair I find this policy great for awkweard teens too #KCACOLS
Steady as you go seems the most important, not trying to replace the absent parent. Nicely put. #DreamTeam
This is really useful advice, being patient is so important. Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next time
I found that finding something in common that was just something for us really helped me to forge that bond with my step-daughter. For us it was hot wings and superhero movies #KCACOLS
These are lovely tips, especially finding that ‘something’ that helps children to bond and work together without them being head on as such. -Or in competition with each other. Thank you for joining us for the #DreamTeamLinky
Thanks, Annette and thanks for having me at#dreamteam
Sounds like some sensible advice to me. Thanks so much for joining us on the #DreamTeamLinky
These are really good ideas, I’m not a step parent but my husband is and he does a great job of bonding with my daughter. I can imagine it’s quite daunting when you become a step-parent.
Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next time
A really helpful post for someone in this situation, Karen. it’s always good to hear what works for other people.
Thank you for sharing with #AdventureCalling
Thanks for your kind words and for stopping by
I don’t have direct personal experience of this but have many friends who do – sage advice as always! #ThatFridayLinky
Thanks for your kind words
It must be so tough being a step parent, so I’m sure these tips are so helpful to anyone in that position. Thank you so much for sharing #AdventureCalling