A friend recently received a letter from school informing her that her daughter would be having a lesson explaining growing up and changing bodies, so she suggested that I should write about this topic.
I remember my mum ( who like most people of her generation found it difficult to talk about this subject) giving me a leaflet to read explaining about periods. I had been given a few lessons at school telling us about this this. During one lesson which was given to both boys and girls together, I recall a boy asking if girls change their sanitary protection every 4 weeks; he hadn’t understood when the teacher told us all that girls get a period needing sanitary protection every month. All the girls giggled and said that we would stink if that was the case.
My mother had a good friend who worked as a midwife, she was looking after us one day when my youngest sister asked her how a baby gets out of the woman’s stomach. She explained (in a way that I thought was sensitive for young ears) that all ladies have a special baby hole that the baby travels down.
I have heard children say that a baby crawls out of the belly button or even unscrews the naval in order to find a way out!
My sisters and I learnt how babies are made by watching our pet rabbits mating; we were told never to let them out together , but of course we did and then deigned doing so when baby rabbits appeared in the hutch a few weeks later.
I once heard of a child who went to a friend’s house for tea and when the girl’s went upstairs to play the friend showed her a copy of the Kamasutra that her parents kept ‘ hidden away’ the poor girl was traumatised by what she was shown. Let this be a lesson to any parents that have similar books at home.
I heard about a woman who bought what she thought was a child’s video from a car boot sale for her daughter when she put it on it was a sex film. Luckily the child didn’t understand what it was for the small amount of time she saw it before her parent quickly turned it off.
I decided that as a responsible mother of sons that I should explain about girls and periods to my son when he was around 13, He looked disgusted and asked, “Why are you telling me this?”
I changed the subject and decided to tell him in a few years time. When I eventually explained to him, I told him that when a girl has a baby growing in her womb the baby is fed by her blood so when she isn’t pregnant she looses the blood by having a period, which can sometimes effect her mood if she is feeling a little unwell.
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Most children learn about growing up and sex from listening to playground talk. much of what they hear is totally incorrect.
My advice to parents who think that they should talk to their children about the birds and the bees is to get some books to look at together, then ask if their child has any questions, if she says she hasn’t , then tell her that she can ask questions at any time because children may find talking about this just as embarrassing as their parents do.
I remember feeling really embarrassed when my dad picked me up from a teenage disco and I came out with a boy who kissed me in front of my dad!
Explaining to young children who ask where babies come from can be even more tricky, I suggest something along the lines of ” Daddy gave mummy his love and that made a baby”
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I have heard of a woman telling her daughter that just as her father plants seeds in the garden and flowers grow that’s similar to making a baby the girl must have wondered how the baby gets from the soil into the woman’s womb.
I would love to hear other experiences of how parents have explained this sometimes delicate topic to children.
As always comments and questions are welcome.
Until next time.
Karen
x
My mother (bless her) never explained or talked about having periods full stop and made me feel ashamed and secretive about the whole experience and I hated it. I got support from my older sister. I feel that I was close to my three girls and could talk to them about everything although I guess they they knew more about these things that I did . I do however think that children now a days are introduced to things of a sexual nature far too early in life.
I was always very honest with mine right from the start, in the early years it went over their heads, but they take a little in and come back to ask more in time. I found it saved the playground wrong end of the stick thing. #DreamTeam
I’m always completely honest about it and totally unafraid of using the correct anatomical words for our reproductive parts. My daughter knows what her vagina is and much in the same way that she’s aware of me having periods, she will also be aware as she gets older and asks more questions that the vagina is where she popped out of! #bloggerclubuk
My mum never really hid anything, to the point were we would have what we called ‘a family meeting’ in the bathroom. Mum would be in the bath, my older sister on the loo (and yes, likely having a number 2) and me sat on the floor. All just having a chat.
There was just the 3 of us then but those where the times I would ask all those types of questions.
#bloggerclubuk
I think honesty is always the best way to go – though obviously tailored according to your own child mind you! We don’t want all our older girls thinking that babies come from the garden! 🙂 Thanks for bringing such an important topic to the #DreamTeam
I don’t think it is a delicate topic. It’s a fact of life. I believe that, as all the very postive outcomes from the study in the Netherlands, especially for girls, honesty and openness from as soon as they ask, will normalise and give them confidence to demand respect and call the shots. I also think boys should learn about periods from an early age – I actually think 13 is toolate,to be honest. If they learn when there’s nothing to be embarassed about, then they won’t ever be embarrassed (or disgusted – like so many men in our generation are). #AnythingGoes.
Great points that make perfect sense, thanks for sharing your thoughts, Lydia x
Brilliant post, some of the stories, particularly the rabbits, did make me literally laugh out loud. My daughter had a lesson at school, girls only and was absolutely traumatised at the thought of periods, given how painful her’s now are, she was probably right to be. She very kindly decided to tell her little sister all about the birds and bees because ‘it’s better being told by your sister!’ #ThatFridayLinky xx
I love this post; i totally agree that honesty is the best policy. We are lucky to live near a farm and watch all the matings and goings on, including calving. No secrets here. #PoCoLo
My parents just handed me a book! I have explained the basics to my older 2 when I was pregnant with Zach and they had lots of questions. Even so, my eldest was a bit traumatised to learn more in school… Thanks for linking up with #globalblogging
I have never felt embarrassed about this stuff although my husband has. I just have a honest and open approach which has served me and mine well so far #PoCoLo
I will answer questions as honestly as I can based on their ages at the time. Thanks for linking up with #stayclassymama
I remember my mum having quite a frank discussion about sanitary ware and where I could find them if I need them, and that was about it. Turned out ok in the end though!! Thanks for sharing with #PoCoLo
I cop out & tell them to ask daddy! 😂 #ThatFridayLinky
I’ve told them to talk to their dad, but mostly I discuss things when they come up. It may be slightly embarrassing but at the end of the day it needs to be talked about. 🙂
Thanks for sharing with #pocolo