Separation anxiety in children was something that I had to deal with often when I was working as a registered child minder. In my experience it affects children the most when they are aged between 6 and 9 months, but as every child is different this can vary.
My tips for coping with this problem is to make a quick exit when you leave your child; say good bye give them a kiss and go. Hanging around will prolong ‘the agony’ for everyone, including the carer.
Don’t be tempted to sneak off when the child isn’t watching . I have witnessed parents doing this when leaving their child at pre-school. The child became very distressed at seeing the parent had suddenly disappeared and tend to not want to leave a parents side in the future in fear that they will vanish again.
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I believe that it’s much kinder to tell a child when you are going and tell them that you will be back to collect them later.
Don’t make it sound too exciting if asked were you are going as this would make them want to go with you even more.
I looked after one boy who really struggled with separation anxiety when he first came to me aged 6 months, It took several months of baby steps for him to gradually learn to trust me and I guess feel safe in my setting.
We got there in the end and I received a lot of complements from other parents at a toddler group that we attended . Things like “you have worked wonders with that little boy” or “Is that the same child that screamed every time you moved out of his sight?”
More on settling in a new child minding child here
Separation anxiety in children can be overcome with time and patience and is often worse for the parent than the child!.
Please share any experiences with me, by leaving a comment ( which I love to receive).
As always questions and comments are welcome.
Until next time.
Karen
x
Linked with
Can’t say I agree with it all. I’ve found with some children it is best for the parent/ cater to make a swift exit whilst the child is entertained. I look after one like that at the moment whos 14months. X
As I said all children are individuals, so what works for some won’t for others, thanks for taking the time to share your experiences, I appreciate it
I am suffering this , if some says mummy or daddy little is off crying & pacing even pulling his hair ! And if doorbell rings, that sets him off aswell !
Thanks for sharing this, Wendy
This makes me sad, and I see it both at church and school.
Thanks for sharing this with me,Michele
I know it’s VERY hard for the parents AND the kids!
Absolutely,Michele
These are great tips. Good for you confirming all kids are different! Thanks for linking up #KCACOLS
http://www.growingexceptional.com
Thanks again for your comments,Kendra
I definitely agree about making a quick exit. When I was teaching, I always found the parents that lingered made the situation much worse. #KCACOLS
Glad to hear that you agree with me 👍
Thanks for linking with #pocolo and hope to see you back soon. From my experiences I tend to find that the parents can actually make things worse when leaving their child
Thanks for having me as a part of your linky and for taking the time to leave your thoughts and experience
This is such a tricky thing to deal with as a parent. I think tackling leaving has to be tailored to each individual child, I don’t believe that there is a ‘one size fits all’ solution! #KCACOLS
You are absolutely right, thanks for bringing this up
Good information to read and can, be of benefit x #kcacols
Thank you, Sam
Thanks for sharing with #PoCoLo – useful post and interesting insight in the comments too
Thanks for having me, Stephanie
I completely agree about not doing the disappearing act on children, especially ones with separation anxiety. It’s bound to make it even worse, and then they really won’t let you leave at all. An interesting post. Thank you for joining us for #mischiefandmemories xx
Glad to hear that you agree with me, Annette
Thankfully with my four this wasn’t a big issue. Just one of them freaked when left at nursery, but she soon got used to it and then never wanted to leave #MischiefandMemories
It usually does get better, thanks for your comment
Its so hard for children to learn to be with new people and very hard to watch them in distress. Thankfully both my boys were always fairly happy going into nursery and pre-school. Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next time
Thanks for sharing this with me, Jade
All three of mine struggled with the start of preschool due to separation anxiety but soon settled and were reassured that I always came back. Thanks for linking up with #MischiefAndMemories
Thanks for leaving your experience, Laura and for having me as a part of the linky
Yeah, Anxiety is most problematic issue in relationship now a days. Many relation just broken up for the anxiety disorder . So we should know how to deal with attachment anxiety. Overall your article make me help how i can handle with my anxiety. Thanks for sharing your writing.
That’s great to hear thanks for that, David